Tips for teaching kids to declutter

Decluttering

Feb 21

My kid doesn’t want to get rid of anything, even if they haven’t used it in ages!

I hear this from parents all the time. As soon as they suggest decluttering, their kid is suddenly attached to a toy they haven’t played with in years.

Decluttering can feel like a power struggle — parents want kids to get rid of the stuff they’re no longer using (or is really beat up), and kids want to hang onto everything.

In my experience as a parent and as an organizer, insisting that anyone get rid of something is rarely effective. Yes, as parents, sometimes we need to make executive decisions about what is best for our kids, and they don’t always like it. But do you want decluttering to be a constant battle, or something your kids do willingly?

Here are some ideas for how to encourage your kids to declutter.

**Manage what comes in the door**

Managing the flow of things that come into your home is *the most important thing anyone can do to stay organized*. Once something has a place in our home, it feels like it belongs to us (and may be more difficult to get rid of due to feelings of guilt or inertia).
One of the challenges with kid stuff is that parents don’t have full control over what comes through the door, whether it’s gifts from relatives, things that get sent home from school, or trinkets from birthday parties. I think the best strategy for parents is to find places where they can counteract the inflow. For example, you may choose to only purchase toys at birthdays and holidays, not buy another version of something your kids already have, or put a limit on the number of clothing items your kids have per season/size.

Start with yourself

No matter how well you are managing incoming traffic, some decluttering will eventually need to happen. Kids are constantly outgrowing clothes and interests, and hanging onto everything will make it difficult to maintain your home.

But before you work on your kids, take a look at your own stuff. Is your bedroom or closet cluttered? Is the pantry stuffed? Is your basement or attic filled with things you never use?

I’m not asking these questions to be judge-y. I’m asking them to help you get started (and eventually teach your kids).

If the rest of your home is cluttered, your kids may not actually understand how to declutter. Or they may be resistant because it seems like you’re making them do something you don’t actually do yourself. Start with yourself so you can effectively teach them.

What do I mean by this? When you declutter, you establish a set of guidelines for what stays in your home and what doesn’t. I strongly believe there is no single “correct” set of rules — they key is for you to come up with your own personal guidelines that are meaningful to you.

Here are some examples of decluttering guidelines you might choose to adopt:

I will donate any clothing that no longer fits my body.
I will donate anything I haven’t used/worn in X years.
I will get rid of any unnecessary multiples of scissors, kitchen utensils, tools, etc.
I will discard/recycle anything that is broken beyond repair.
I will donate any decor I no longer display.
I will not keep any more books than will fit on my bookshelf.

Those are just examples, and they certainly don’t need to be the guidelines that you follow! The most important thing is to come up with guidelines that work for you and APPLY them.

Teach how to declutter

Many people don’t realize that organizing is a skill that can be taught, not a behavior that we are born knowing how to do (although organizing comes easier for some people than others).
Remember that your kids may not actually know *how* to declutter. This is where the rules you identified when you decluttered for yourself come into play. In an age-appropriate way, explain your decluttering guidelines to your kids. This will both help them understand what they need to do and why they are doing it. That might sound something like this:
*When we outgrow our clothes, we donate them so someone else can wear them.*
*When our toys break and we can’t fix them, we discard them because they aren’t safe to play with anymore.*
*We store our clothes in our closet. Once your closet gets too full, it’s time to donate some things you no longer wear so you have space for new clothes.*

Give an option NOT to declutter

Ok, you’re thinking, but what if my kids dig in their heels and still refuse?

This is an area that requires discretion, depending on the ages of your kids and the specific items they want to hold onto. If there is a health or safety issue, or if your kids are very young and unable to make appropriate decisions, you may need to step in and make an executive decision.

But let’s say that’s not the case. Maybe you’re just frustrated that your kiddo insists on hanging onto 60 remote-controlled cars that never get played with. You think kiddo should just get rid of some of them, because, they never get played with. You’ve asked them to pick some favorites, you’ve explained the reason for decluttering, but they still refuse to part with any. Here are some ideas for how to respond:

You can choose to keep them all, but there isn’t any more room for new toys. So you can’t get any more toys until you make space by donating some cars.
You can choose to keep them all, but they must be put away in their designated place. If you can’t do that, you will have to donate some. If you don’t choose which ones, I will choose them for you.
I wanted to get a new toy chest for your cars, but they won’t all fit. If you donate some, we can get the chest for the ones you keep.

Realize your kid may not immediately decide to do what you want. But you will be planting the seed of this is how we maintain our house.